No sooner did I say I wanted to post on my blog more often, and immediately the storm came in. It seems chaos hit on all sides. Huge projects rolled in from every direction… construction, homeschool, ministry, and the biggest undertaking of all my physical health.
Because I haven’t been feeling well, it has taken up a lot of my time and energy just to get by. I’m putting a lot into eating well, getting enough exercise and sleep and a host of other efforts. Interestingly, the healthier I am, the easier it is to make healthy choices. Lately, it has not been so easy.
The enemy of my soul has been whispering in my ear that if I was really a child of the One True King, then I wouldn’t be sick. It reminds me of how he approached Jesus after he came out the desert.
The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Matthew 4:3
I know who I am. My name is Alison and I am a child of the one true King. Jesus died to redeem me from my sins and according to the Bible, by His stripes I am healed.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
I’ve developed a strange rash that started around the core of my body. It is so itchy, I feel like I’ve been rubbed in fiberglass insulation. Then there is constant pain I’ve been wrestling with. Worse than the pain and the itchy rash is the shortness of breath. It’s a terrible feeling to want more oxygen then you are taking in. Getting to the root of it all has been more complicated than I ever would have guessed.
Despite the myriad of strange symptoms rising up in my body, my point is simply this, I know God is my Father and Jesus is my savior. I stand on this truth, regardless of what “proof” there is, the truth still stands firm. Sometimes worldly facts, like things that I can see, hear, feel, & touch do not align with truth.
God heals in so many different ways. For many people in the Bible it was immediate. For this one blind man Jesus spit in the dirt and rubbed it on the mans eyes and told him to go and wash his eyes. On the way to wash the man discovered he could see.
“After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.”
The best part about all of this it is that it has brought me closer to God. I need God now more than ever, and I tell Him that all the time. More and more, I’ve found myself waking up to the sound of my own voice saying, “I need you God! Help me!”
We were shopping & I saw this sign saying “I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR” and I said, “Hey, I love that sign, take a picture of me.” Then my daughter starts laughing because she was taking a picture of me yelling at her brother to stop screwing around in the store. Yes Lord! I need thee every minute of every hour. Look at this next picture. Do you see that little rascal photo bombing my picture?
God does help me. God has been my anchor. He is the rock on which I stand and my only constant in this storm. He has comforted me with His word which I have hidden in my heart. The Holy Spirit reminds me of what I need to know.
We had a rare warm day and we took advantage of it and went hiking at Starved Rock State Park. It was awesome, except for the fact that I couldn’t really keep up even at the slow pace everyone was going for me.
We got to the top of a cliff by the water to try to get a look at the eagles there and I just took that as an opportunity to lay down. I watched the breeze gently blowing the pine needles above me and despite it all I felt at peace. Another cool thing I saw was a stealth bomber. I didn’t know what it was and it was so foreign I wondered if it was real or if I was imagining it. It kind of seemed like some sort of alien ship to me. Kevin thought that was funny and told me that if I played video games then I would have known what the stealth bomber was.
I thought about how God is sovereign and high above the eagles and the stealth bomber and the storm raging in my life right now. Then this verse cane to mind.
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”” Zephaniah 3:17
We did a five-hour hike that day. I didn’t climb up every cliff and hill that my family did, but I was moving the whole time. Surprisingly I felt better at the end than the beginning, even tho I was tired. I forced everyone into a victory picture. Lol! Then we went into the lodge for dinner and my family didn’t seem to mind that I spent half the time on the edge of the fireplace
It’s hard to even find words to express what I am going through right now. Honestly, from the outside world, I think perhaps things don’t look too bad. I am thankful that God knows every detail and I love that each and everything that concerns me also concerns Him. He is truly the lover of my soul.
I recorded this video of me flagging. It one of the things I really enjoy right now. I feel close to God when I’m flagging. I never thought that a few minutes would get me winded, but that’s my reality right now. Kevin pointed out that there is applause at the end of the song. He teased me and said it was cute. But the applause is for God. That’s always the way it is with praise and worship. It’s all for God.