False Start

I have a plaque I keep in my home which reads. “If You Can’t Be A Good Example You’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning!” by, Catherine Aird 
I laughed when I saw it and knew I had to have it. It’s been the story of my life.

I wish I could write in this blog about all of the mess ups I’ve been through and how God pulled me out of them…..OH WAIT!!! I am doing that! I wish I could sit here today and say it’s all good, my problems are in the past. 

The truth is as long as I’m on planet earth I will have problems. Jesus tells us this in John 16:33. But he also followed it up with an encouraging word. “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

My life is a beautiful mess!  think I’m a mess and God thinks I’m beautiful! I keep trying, trying, trying and messing up. God continues to faithfully help me when I cry HELP! I SCREWED UP AGAIN!
It’s been impressed on me that I need to live my life with purpose and passion. Not my purpose and passion alone, but I am to live out the desires that God placed in my heart long ago that line up with his will.
When I got out of the children’s home I remember I had a deep desire to go get educated so I could return to help. Even as a child I could see the brokenness in the system.
My plan was to take the traditional and worldly path. College, career, Help people. I made my plans but in the end the Lord determines our steps. He gave me free will and let’s just say…..I made the wrong choices.
I was a believer back then, but I had such a young faith. I was an easy target for  Satan. I did not read my bible, or go to church or spend time with other believers.
Trouble was, I was easily distracted. I was listening to God’s voice, going down his road. Then, when I started to stray God started  giving me sign posts……. warnings that I ignored.
These warning often came from people in my life. People in the church, who loved me and wanted the best for me. But I didn’t listen. I took the apple. I saw it was good for food and I ate it.
I was warned not to have sex before I was married. Not to live with my boyfriend……..I could go on and on.
God told Adam and Eve you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” When they did, their eyes were opened and they saw they were naked.
YUP!
So what did they do? They hid. Ha! Like any of us can actually hide from God!
But ya know, that’s exactly what I did. God showed me his way. I chose “MY” way and then I walked away. I knew I had disobeyed God but by that time the devil had a foothold in my life.
The good news is this. God takes people back! He loves us. We are made in his image. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or how far you’ve strayed. We have a shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep to go back for the one who is lost.
PRAISE GOD!
Just the other day a friend of mine was trying to warn me that I might not possibly be listening to God’s voice and this was my response…”I’m not worried, if God wants to tell me something, he’s God, he’ll let me know.”
 Oh, here we goooooo………
There is a story in the bible about a man who is going down the wrong path. God warns him and of course, the man ignores God.  Then God sends and angel to redirect him. The man is riding a donkey and the donkey keeps stopping because he can see the angel in his path.
But the man cannot see the angel blocking the road. He gets frustrated and eventually beats the donkey. Finally, the donkey speaks and pleads with the guy to stop hitting him. I’m serious, it’s true.
It’s a good story. You can find it in the book of Numbers. But my point is this, God speaks to his children and his children hear his voice and if we happen to be ignoring our heavenly Father, he will even go so far as to make a donkey talk.
Right after I told my friend that I wasn’t worried, I felt my heart quicken. Yikes, wait! I don’t want to go down the rough road so I took it to God. I asked him, God what do you think about this?
God doesn’t speak to me audibly, although he could….he is God after all.
God speaks to me with his word. I can tell when I’m in the right place because I am at peace and he shows up BIG TIME! He’s worked miracles in my life providing for my needs in supernatural ways.
The truth is this, there is an enemy of your soul who wants to confound you. He wants to cause division in your family, in your church, in your heart. He’s sneaky.
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
It’s the same old story from the beginning of time. Adam and Eve ate the apple and now we just line up waiting for our turn to discover that we are naked and ashamed.
Think about it. Are you going through something and you have no peace? The Lord we serve is the author of peace. The bible says we can have peace despite our circumstances.
God’s children hear his voice. Scripture says if you draw close to God, he will draw close to you. God is not hiding from you. Could it be that you’ve wandered away?
Satan will do whatever he can to lead you astray. Whose voice are you listening to?
Are you seeking God’s voice? Do you spend time with God? Have you spent time with your savior? If you want to know peace beyond your circumstances, then this is what you do. First of all ignore the idea that you don’t have time or understanding or whatever.
It’s not about you being good enough, smart enough, or having enough of anything. It’s about your willingness to have a relationship.
Satan will do whatever he can to distract you, to discourage you. He will lie to you and make you think his lies are true.
Here is the truth. If your thoughts lead you to places of anxiety and stress they are not from God.
In Philippians 4:8, God tells us what to think about.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I named this blog An Orphans Battleground because I want you to know the truth. If you want life and peace and joy….you can have it! It comes from accepting Jesus as savior. The battle has already been won. Jesus died for you and me. He came to earth so that we could have life!

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:9-10

My Dad’s version of this blog post is much simpler: If you are having troubles read your bible. And don’t call me back unless you’ve been reading your bible.

It seemed harsh at the time but oh my if only I had listened. He’s in heaven now anyway, Praising Jesus!

Now this part of this post is for all of my friends who warned me way back when, and for my friends now who have recently learned about when I fell. I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME! Now here’s the hard part.

WAKE UP YOU SLEEPERS!!!! Don’t be in the church fight club. Don’t be in any fight club. Let’s keep short accounts. Forgive, don’t dwell.  God has decided that I’m purified, renewed and clean so let’s leave it at that!
God did not save me and redeem me for myself. I am reaching back to comfort people with the love I myself received. The Lord himself goes before me. He will defend the cause of the orphan.  This is what God says,

If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Galatians 5:15

I know you are used to me being a screw up. But it is you yourselves who gave me hope and told me to believe. I trusted God. I’ve been redeemed, saved, transformed and changed. Don’t let Satan now lead you astray.

I know who I am. I am God’s beloved daughter, cherished and washed clean! Satan is under my foot and we both know it! I am praying for you all.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. Matthew 12:25

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Mark 3:25

Let’s be nice to each other. What kind of a testimony are we living to those who have no hope.
Please don’t bother calling me and telling me that you are innocent and tell me of all of your business. I’m well aware of who has shut me down, closed me out and pointed a finger. More than that God sees it all. He’s got me busy doing some work he’s planned for me to do all along.
Since my birthday on March 28,2012, not a day has gone by where I haven’t received an email, a phone call, a text message, a face book message, a knock on my door of someone looking for hope.
I wasn’t the only one in that children’s home and the global orphan crisis goes way beyond the Illinois Masonic Children’s Home. Let’s just all get along.
OUCH! That was a painful post to type. I do love you all!

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