How I Learned to Give Thanks In All Circumstances
I have been thinking about how easy it is to give thanks when things are going great in your life. But it’s not so easy to thank God when life isn’t going well. The first Bible verse I ever memorized was,
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
In 2017 my kids and I stood in the “Path of Totality” for the Carbondale Eclipse. It was a beautiful reminder of God’s faithfulness when I surrendered my life to Jesus. As we stood in the Eclipse Crossroads of America, I was reminded of when I lost all hope. I know what it’s like to cry out to God from a place so dark you cannot see. My own crossroad with the Savior of the world took place seventeen years earlier, in Carbondale, Illinois in the summer of 2000.
At the time I was going through a horrible season. My life was falling apart and I was calling my father every day for help. He was always trying to get me to read my Bible, but because I was in crisis mode, I just couldn’t do it. So he switched up his tactics and asked me if I would just memorize this one verse. I promised him that I would. But honestly, the verse made me cringe.
How could it be God’s will for me to be thankful in all circumstances? I could think of a lot of circumstances that I had been through up to that point in my life that were downright horrible. My parent’s divorce, my mom dying of breast cancer when I was nine, then being dropped off in a children’s home by my wealthy family. All three of my mother’s brothers were doctors. My Uncle, who had guardianship over me and my siblings fought my Dad for custody only give us away.
I memorized the Bible verse because I promised I would. Little did I know that seven years later God would quicken His word in my heart, and he used the circumstances of my Dad committing suicide to do it.
On the day of my Dad’s memorial service only a handful of very close family and friends attended. It was May 30, 2004. Just before we were preparing to leave his house to venture up the mountain where we planned to spread my Dad’s ashes, a man came driving down the driveway. He came in and introduced himself to me. For the purposes of this story I will call him Angel.
Angel explained that he wasn’t supposed to be there that day. In fact, it was his son’s birthday. He had intended to come later in the week to help haul all of my Dad’s books to the local library to be donated. But Angel said he felt a prompting from God to come and let me go through the books first to see if there was anything I wanted.
So that day, I rummaged through boxes of my Dad’s books. I filled my suitcase and when that was full, I decided I would pay the extra fees to bring some of the boxes with me. We spent some time that day walking around my Dad’s ranch. My heart ached as my new husband Kevin, of only one month walked with me. We spread my Dad’s ashes on the side of a mountain nearby and as we drove off his property for the last time. I shook my fist at heaven and said, “What am I supposed to be thankful for in this?”
I didn’t get my answer from God that day. I needed an answer from God, but all I heard was silence. Upon returning home to our apartment in the city, I tucked my Dad’s books into our storage area and tried my best to forget about the whole ordeal.
A year later my husband Kevin and I had moved into a small rental house in the suburbs of Chicago. I took some time off to unpack and get settled in our new home. It was then that I took notice of my Dad’s books. All the of the books I had brought home were Christian books and among them were my Dad’s journals. As I inspected them I discovered that he had been getting up early every morning for the last several years of his life and listening to sermons on tape. He had been busy doing this, while my first marriage had been falling apart. I remembered how I had called him a hypocrite because I didn’t think he knew God or went to church. I realized how wrong I was. My Dad’s journals were proof that my Dad had changed.
We started attending Willow Creek Community Church with the kids, and I found myself ready to move closer to God. I looked through my Dad’s books and found one called, “A 30-Day Walk in the Psalms” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Alone in my living room, I would get up early in the morning and read the Bible Study. I didn’t know how to read the Bible and I felt intimidated. I was very legalistic back then, so I remember, I literally clocked my time in and my time out, right there in the book. The book was only a thirty day commitment, but I was having trouble getting the reading done. I wanted to sit with God, but it was hard. Sometimes I could only focus for 5 minutes.
Interestingly enough, God honored my coming to him. Little by little I worked through the book. I learned how to pray for other people. I learned how to praise God, and most importantly, God wooed me. He drew me out of the spiritual desert I had been in and filled my heart with life!
I fell in love with God during that season and I will never forget that, ever! I saw God for who He is. He is a redeemer, a restorer and he gives us a double blessing for our trouble. God had changed my Dad and made him into a new creation. I hadn’t been able to see it because I didn’t have an eternal perspective.
I had always known my father as a bird dog trainer. He irrigated his fields, rode horses and was very active with the dogs. He was a chain smoking cowboy, rough around the edges. But a slipped disc put all of that to rest and for the last few years of his life he sat at a desk working as a stockbroker.
Sometimes we don’t have all of the information to make a right judgement. What I learned after my father died was that he had suffered from Alzheimer’s disease for two years and when he failed the test to continue working as a stockbroker then he submitted himself to back surgery. He hoped he could go back to working on the farm. Unfortunately the Alzheimer’s disease was exacerbated by the anesthesia.
Yes, my Dad had committed suicide. But he had been victorious in fighting the good fight of faith. At the end of his life, his journals were filled with the only thing that mattered and that was his love for Jesus. He poured out in his journals and on random pieces of paper how he loved the Lord and begged God to never forget him. He wrote notes to himself, “Remember Jehovah!”
Before my Dad died he received his 30 year pin in Alcoholics Anonymous. My Dad had sponsored another younger man in the program. The man he sponsored was Angel. Then after my dad died, God sent Angel to me. Sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, Angel dropped his own agenda and took the time to do God’s bidding. He listened to God and his obedience gave me the opportunity to bring some of my Dad’s books home.
I fell in love with God in my living room. I sat with the Lord in my living room and He became real to me in a way He never had before. He quickened His word in my heart.
“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Suddenly it all made sense. God would never expect me to rejoice in suffering because he is insensitive or cruel. When you get to know God, you learn that being connected to Him supersedes your circumstances.
Jesus tells us in the Bible, that in this world, we will have trouble. Then Jesus goes on to say, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” God’s word says that He will keep in perfect peace, all whose eyes are fixed on Him. God pulls good out of all circumstances for those of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He promises to be with us when we go through deep waters.
When I need an answer from God, when the situation is unfair, I can remember that God is faithful. It takes a whole other level of faith to not get what you want and keep praising God.
It’s God’s will for me to be so intimately acquainted with Him that I know in the depths of my soul that He hasn’t forgotten me or made a mistake. I have the Holy Spirit who is with me to guide me, comfort me, convict me, and teach me. I am not alone. I have an advocate and a helper.
No matter what I am going through I can be thankful. Truly it is hard to understand this until you have been endured with power from on high. I grieve when I experience loss in this life, and even in the searing pain, I thank God that he comforts me through it.
This week is the Festival of Sukkot also called The Feast of Tabernacles. It’s a weeklong Jewish holiday during the harvest season where they celebrate the Exodus from Egypt. Being American I typically think about what I’m thankful for when Thanksgiving is coming. Some say Sukkot is a model for Thanksgiving. If you are in a difficult season and your circumstances are dashing your hopes, I pray that my writing has somehow helped to give you a different perspective. Books have many chapters and movies have many scenes. It’s never too late for a plot twist.
*I’m working to treat my writing as a job. If you appreciate my writing my family and I would be grateful if you would consider investing in a paid subscription.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
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Tagged Broken Heart, cross, healing