Earlier this year my daughter had hoped to run the Big Beach Marathon with me. Unfortunately she didn’t meet the age requirement. When we returned home she decided that she was going to run a marathon because she wanted to know that she could.  So one morning she got up and hopped onto the treadmill and started running.  She did almost the entire marathon on the treadmill with the exception of a few miles outside so that her Dad could use the workout room.  At the end of her marathon she sat down and started massaging my swollen toes.

I asked her if she finished the marathon and she said, “Yes.”

“How was it?   Was it hard?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “It was fun!”

She said it in such a way that the undertone communicated that it was no big deal.

“It was fun? You’re acting like it was no big deal.” I said.

“Ya, it was fine Mom. I like running. It was fun.” my daughter told me as she shrugged her shoulders.

I had just completed the Big Beach Marathon and it was a huge deal.  In fact I only finished that marathon by the grace of God.

The Big Beach Marathon felt longer than other marathons I have done and that’s because I was so slow that it took a much longer time even though the distance was the same.  The last few miles of the marathon were very difficult.

I was practically delirious and talking to myself, “Just keep going Alison. Don’t quit. Just keep going.” I kept looking for the finish but even though I thought it should be close I could see nothing at all.  Near the end  it was a long lonely stretch, then there was a left turn, a short stint and then the course turned right.

After I made that right turn I could see all my people from the Run for God team cheering me on.  I felt ignited!  Remembering my high school cross country coach telling me to sprint past the finish line I put every ounce of energy into that finish.  While I know in reality I was truly nowhere near a sprint, I was performing at my top capacity.

With every ounce of my being I ran past familiar and unfamiliar faces, past the crowd and beyond the finish line. Doubled over with my hands on my knees and panting I was overcome with emotion.  I did it! I completed the marathon!

Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me say, “Keep Going!” Then I heard another and another until the whole Run for God team was screaming at me, “Keep Going! You’re not done!”

In slow motion I started making the connection that something was wrong.  I looked up to realized that I actually hadn’t finished the marathon.  I could see the real finish line and to my dismay I had no idea how I was going to get from where I was standing to the true finish line.  I was spent.  There was nothing left in me. Nada, zip, zilch, zero!

A stream of expletives flew from my mouth and somehow my feet started taking steps towards that finish line.  When I crossed the true finish line my body let go and I actually peed my pants.  You’d think I would have been embarrassed but I wasn’t.  I was amazed that God had gotten me through.  I knew that He was the one who had gotten me from where I thought the finish line was to the true finish line.

That is exactly how it was when I got saved too.  When I got saved I was at the end of myself. I was poured out and I had nothing left.  I confessed to God, “I have made a mess of my life and I can’t fix it! You are God! You fix my life!”  It was a full surrender.  I was totally broken and totally busted out.

The day I finished the Big Beach Marathon a woman felt the need to come over to me and say, “We heard what you said when you realized you hadn’t finished the race.”  She was on the Run for God team and for whatever reason she felt the need to point out to me that I had thrown a fit at the end of my race.  I had a melt down.  I didn’t know that was going to happen but it did and still the Lord carried me to the finish.  Grace!

It’s a beautiful thing when grace is in place.  The Lord is kind and compassionate, full of mercy and grace.  I gave it my all with that marathon and in the end I didn’t have what it took to finish it.  Jesus hung on the cross and he paid for my sins by giving his body as an atoning sacrifice.  When he said, “It is finished.”  that covered every sin for every person.  He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.

Just after Christmas last year I raised “An Appeal to Heaven” flag on a flagpole in my side yard.

I’ve run into a lot of dead ends, pitfalls and injustice which have put me and my kids between a rock and a hard place.  I’ve done all I can do to save my marriage and my family.  The Lord is my dread champion.  He will protect me, He will provide and He will bring justice.

The Appeal to Heaven flag is comforting to me.  I hear it blowing in the wind and I think about John 3:8 that says, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”    God is at work.

On January 28, 2023 by the grace of God I completed the Big Beach Marathon.  When I got home to my house in the Chicago suburbs I pulled up and the house was completely dark.  Much to my disappointment my husband wasn’t home.  Sitting there in the driveway I heard the Lord say, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.”  which comes from Exodus 14:14

I honestly didn’t think it would be this long.  I thought the battle would be over by now.  I have no idea how much longer that it will be.  I have struggled and wrestled to be still.  It would be very nice if this internal wrestling was akin to a butterfly wrestling to get out of it’s chrysalis.  I’m longing for a breakthrough.  I want to see my family walking with the Lord or at least have the peace of God regardless of the outcome.  The Bible is clear in Revelation 9:20-21  some people don’t repent.

Today I am reminded that only God saves.  In this race that we call life there is only so far we can go in the flesh then after that it is the only by the power of the Holy Spirit and God gets all the credit. I am just a servant of the Lord.

When my daughter finished her treadmill marathon I was so proud of her and I wanted to get her a small token to remember the accomplishment.  I was also struck with the fact that she had said it was fun.  My “I don’t trust you meter” started going off the charts.  I don’t trust anyone who runs a marathon for fun.

Truly, this had nothing to do with my daughter’s trustworthiness and everything to do with my own trustworthiness.    My daughter’s willingness to jump right into a marathon with no forethought reminded me of when I was a young rebellious teenager who got pregnant out of wedlock.

Life is a lot like a marathon.  Becoming a teenage mother felt like I was catapulted into a lifelong marathon with no training.  It was very hard.

We all have time, talent and treasure to one degree or another.  But eventually, we will all get to the end of ourselves.  Some of us sooner than later, but eventually we will all have to give an account for how we’ve lived while we were here in these bodies.

It is God who created us all.  We were made by God and for God.  Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  

Romans 3:12 says, All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” We don’t do good works to get saved, we do good works because be are saved. Jesus proclaimed, “The time has come,” he said. “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believethe good news!” Mark 1:15

Something I have been thinking a lot about is that the Bible is so clear in that there are some who do not repent. The rest of mankind who were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk.  Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immoralityor their thefts. Revelation 9:20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21