When I got married at Christ Church of Oak Brook a woman who came to the wedding handed me a card with Proverbs 3:5-6 on it.  It is always good to trust the Lord, but for me, I am needing to lean in real close right now.

From a very early age I felt the sting of a family betrayal.  On my thirty ninth birthday I went back to the Illinois Masonic Children’s Home to visit.  When we got home my daughter made me this picture thanking me for not giving her away.

Over the last few years my eyes have been opened in unexpected ways.  People have shown up to support me that I never would have thought to ask.  I don’t even know where to begin to show my gratitude.  I know this one truth, you never ever forget the people who climb down into the ditch with you. These are people that I cannot repay, and they have shown up anyway.

The Lord asked me to give my testimony and because of that I have experienced severe backlash from people in my own family.  Instead of humbling yourself before the Lord, you instead chose to try to control me.  I was denied access to funds.  Locks were changed. I was told if I wanted gas or groceries that I would need to get my own money for those things.

God hasn’t asked me to be anyone other than who I am.  I haven’t pretended about my past, or about who I am today.   I wasn’t always that way. I know what it’s like to hide and I know what happens when you step into the light.  Healing happens in the light.

I don’t owe anyone details of my life. I am a very private person, and there has been a cost to telling my story.  I will never get my privacy back. I caution anyone who wants to draw a conclusion about me,  or any of my family members, you do not have all of the facts.  Everyone is bad in someone’s story.  We all have chapters that we don’t want read out loud.

There is a difference between pointing a finger to shame and to blame, verses acknowledging real harm that someone caused me.  It’s not wrong to say that someone hurt me. If you want to take a side please don’t side with the person who is hurting me.  Don’t tell me that he’s your favorite.  Learn who the real enemy is.  Satan is the real enemy.

If you find that you are feeling badly about something you’ve done I urge you to deal with the guilt.  If you bring it to God you will learn the tremendous relief that comes when the weight of that sin is lifted off of you.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

When I got married in 2004, I never once lied about who I was.  I was a woman who had found a new life in Jesus Christ.

I believe Jesus Christ heals broken hearts and I’m not going to pretend that mine hasn’t been broken.  Abuse thrives in a place where people stay quiet.  There are no innocent bystanders. There are times in life where you will have to choose between your dignity and your deliverance.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6